Why did the chicken cross the road?
Mitt Romney: “Because Obama made him.”
Newt Gingrich: “Mitt would have you believe it’s Obama’s fault, but in reality, he was making chickens cross the road when he was running Bain Capital. And they got run over by trucks as he stood there and profited off selling the feathers!”
Ron Paul: “We’re missing the bigger picture here, which is, we have to ask ourselves, why is the government watching chickens crossing the road? We have to get the government out of monitoring the movement of chickens, cut our chicken surveillance programs and save that money on taxes for the American people. I get more donations from chickens than the rest of these candidates combined - I think I have the support of the chickens!”
Rick Santorum: “Look, I’m the son of an immigrant. So I can appreciate the enthusiasm that the chicken has for trying to get to a new nation and a new opportunity. But that chicken needs to respect the law and cross the road in the proper manner - using a crosswalk, waiting for the crossing signal, and presenting proper identification when he gets to the other side.”