Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road: GOP Edition
Why did the chicken cross the road? Mitt Romney: “Because Obama made him.” Newt Gingrich: “Mitt would have you believe it’s Obama’s fault, but in reality, he was making chickens cross the road when he was running Bain Capital. And they got run over by trucks as he stood there and profited off selling the feathers!” Ron Paul: “We’re missing the...
haikumblr: Dummy's guide to watching the NFL. →
haikumblr: Here’s what you need to know if you end up getting roped into watching a football game. This requires no knowledge of football in any way - what little you need to know will be explained below. Pick a team. If one of the teams is based near your town, pick that one. Otherwise, pick the team that… Yup.
The Broken King
Years before we were all witnesses, years before The Decision, years before taking the fourth quarter off, a teenage LeBron James was standing at midcourt of the Palestra in Philadelphia, playing a glorified one-on-one game as The Next Michael Jordan against The Next Wilt Chamberlain. James’ St. Vincent-St. Mary was leading by 30 or 40 in the fourth quarter against Maureece Rice’s...
Making Dinner, or, How I Nearly Killed Myself
So for dinner I was making some classy bachelor chow I like to call pasta a la marinara. Boil pasta. Microwave sauce. Dump together. Consume. I’ve done this literally a thousand times. Put the pasta in to boil, no prob. Go to get the sauce. Now, when I have one serving of sauce left in the jar, I forgo a container and just stick the jar in the microwave, let it go, and by the time the pasta...